


wish that i could erase you from my head

by lesbianchiyo



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Baseball, Coffee Shops, Hatake Atsushi/Mihashi Ren - Freeform, M/M, Past Abuse, Singer Mihashi Ren, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25488226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianchiyo/pseuds/lesbianchiyo
Summary: Ren was intriguing, everything about him was intriguing, his voice, his personality on and off  stage... even his lipstick.Takaya was interested in everything about him, too bad he had a boyfriend.
Relationships: Abe Takaya/Mihashi Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> all of ren's songs are by alec wigdahl. i feel like his style of music fits ren, i also just love alec's music. 
> 
> this is a soulmate au, where your soulmate has a tattoo on the place you hate the most and you have a tattoo on the place they hate the most...yes, ren is trans... it's just not the most important thing in this fic, so i didn't tag it... it also doesn't change anything because he's still a boy-
> 
> if you are one of those people who are like trans guys aren't guys ahahah. go away. i don't want you reading my fics. 
> 
> takaya still plays baseball, the teams just made up of different people.... you'll meet like four players cause this is about ren singing not baseball. 
> 
> [this is dedicated to all my abemiha lovers who are still active and support my work. i really appreciate the fact people still love oofuri and abemiha because i think about them every night, and the support my abemiha fics get makes me want to write more!!]

* * *

Takaya first noticed it the summer after he turned six. It had been a hot day, and he had spent it at the pool with his parents—six was the age of defiance, he wanted to be old enough to be his own person, he knew who he was and what he wanted…for the most part.

It was just above his private area (that’s what his mother called it) and it grew along his pelvis. It was nothing but a couple leaves, the lines a dark black and the inside of the leaves shaded gray—how could his soulmate hate this part of their body? When he showed his mother, she was as shocked as him.

As he got older, the tattoo continued to grow, the leaves stretching into long vines that circled his stomach in shaded flowers. Takaya was embarrassed of the weird spot his tattoo continued to cover, it was weird, soon Takaya thought his whole front side would be covered in dark black leaves and shaded flowers.

At the beginning of high school when puberty hit him the most, the tattoo encircled his nipples in a mess of vines, and strawberries. The larger the tattoo grew the more the leaves turned into flowers and the flowers turned into strawberries.

His parents still had no explanation for the placement, usually the tattoos were smaller in more hidden places. Like Takaya’s younger brother, the lucky boy had a swarm of butterflies on the side of his thigh.

By the time Takaya was fresh out of high school and on his way to starting a new life away from home —to learn and be the independent adult he always wanted to be— the tattoo had stopped growing. The vines covered his entire front, leaves, flowers and strawberries all shaded in gray.

Takaya couldn’t help but be a little worried… the tattoo was big, and it was embarrassing to explain. How could his soulmate hate such a big amount of skin? Takaya was sure the tattoo his soulmate had was small, and Takaya couldn’t help but be bitter about that.

Why couldn’t he hate a bigger place, instead Takaya’s only insecurity was a small scar that stretched across the left side of his stomach. It was covered by the tattoo, but it was there. At first it had been a long inflamed red cut, with a purple and blue bruise covering the skin around it…and then it was nothing, but a healing cut a long-raised bump of irritated skin. And now, it was nothing but a scar, a piece of skin that was white against his tanned body.

Takaya hated it because it showed his failure as a catcher, he had fumbled the catch...the ball too fast it left the skin of his belly hurt and inflamed.

They had lost the last game before the championship…all because he had fumbled that catch.


	2. Chapter 2

Takaya grumbled as he forced the back entrance of the café open, the door was always getting stuck thanks to Yuuichirou who had dumbly used the door as a place to practice batting. At least he hadn’t broken a window… well he almost had, but Azusa had found him before he had made that mistake.

The inside of the café was humid, and Takaya was once again reminded of how much he hated having the opening shift.

The metal back door fell shut with a slam, and Takaya blindly pressed against the wall next to it. Once he found the light switches, he quickly turned all of them on. Takaya fought a yawn as he flicked through the keys, it was a couple minutes of him trying to find the correct key to the backroom; he was still tired from waking up early, and the walk from his dorm to the café had sucked out any energy he had had.

The backroom was messy, it was always messy. Yuuichirou had a habit of forgetting to throw away his cups and he always forgot his sweatshirts. The number of sweatshirts that sat in a pile on the floor next to the large fridge made Takaya sigh once again. He didn’t understand why the boy even brought sweatshirts to work in the first place, it was the middle of summer and Takaya never turned the air conditioning on too high.

He dropped his keys on the small table in the middle of the room before letting his bag of textbooks fall to the ground. He had an afternoon lecture he had to catch, so he decided the best option was bringing his school supplies to work with him; even if the books were heavy, and useless…they were always useless and too expensive.

He stretched his arms, before turning on his heels and leaving the room. The backroom door fell shut behind him and Takaya turned the air conditioning on before he turned a corner into the main area of the café.

It was spacious, the counter stretching from one side of the room to the other. All the supplies needed were stored on shelves behind the counter, or in the large fridge in the backroom. The table and chairs were spread out on both sides of the room, with a large space in the middle for the line and an empty space in the back where a small block of wood in the left corner sat.

It was a small raised stage, the past owner had said it was used for karaoke and comedy nights, but now it was left abandoned. Yuuichirou did tell him and Azusa that he was interested in finding someone from their school to perform there, but Takaya wasn’t sure anyone from the music department would want to perform in a shitty café run by four broke college students.

The only customers they got were students from their school or old couples on early morning walks. Anyone who performed here wouldn’t get much publicity, and Takaya was sure most students in the music department wanted to get noticed.

Takaya yawned, pulling a small mug from the shelves behind him down. The perks about working at a café was he got free coffee every morning and even if he wasn’t working the morning shift, he still got free coffee.

As Takaya fixed himself a cup of coffee, he heard the loud clatter of the back door opening and Yuuichirou’s voice, which was too loud for five-thirty in the morning.

“That’s the backroom, you can leave your bookbag there and that’s the bathroom.”

Yuuichirou’s voice echoed from the hallway to the dining area. Takaya sighed, lifting a hand to pull at his hair. Who the fuck did he have with him, Azusa had already yelled at him about bringing random people in before opening—

Takaya went rigid when Yuuichirou and his guest emerged from the dimmed hallway. The shorter male had his arm slung around a boy Takaya had never seen before—which was weird when Takaya saw what he was wearing—the school’s baseball jacket…was he a new member? But he had a guitar case slung over one shoulder and a large speaker in his hands.

“Taka!”

Yuuichirou let go of the other male, running up to lean across the counter,

“Don’t call m—”

“Remember when I told you I’d find someone to perform?” Yuuichirou made no move to lower his voice, Takaya could already feel the headache starting.

He nodded.

“Well this is Ren.” Yuuichirou pulled the boy, Ren closer to him, “He’s majoring in English Literature, but he’s fucking talented when it comes to singing. So, he’s going to perform here every day before his classes.” Yuuichirou’s smile was brighter than the sun…Takaya struggled to hold in his groan.

Ren was looking everywhere but Takaya, his hands wrapped around the handle of a large black speaker. The varsity jacket was too big for him and…Takaya was taken aback by the boys looks. He was petite, only a head taller than Yuuichirou, and his cheeks were excessively rosy. Takaya would have thought the excessive blush looked bad, but the amount of blush worked for Ren; it matched his strawberry blond hair and lipstick covered lips. Takaya turned back towards Yuuichirou.

“Did you ask Azusa?”

“Azusa said it was fine as long as it was someone from our school.”

Takaya sighed, “I guess he did. Uhh,” He turned towards Ren, “It’s nice to meet you, Ren, you can set up at the stage in the corner… there should be an ou—”

Yuuichirou was already pushing Ren towards the left corner of the café before Takaya could finish his sentence. He sighed again, leaning against the counter. Yuuichirou was busy helping Ren set up his speaker, the sound of their chatter loud in the almost empty café.

This was going to be a long day, hopefully Ren was as good as Yuuichirou said he was. Takaya groaned; his coffee was cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, this takes place in america... sue me 😔 agskaahk. i don't know if i'm happy with the start of this au, it's not my best, but i don't think i can call it my worst? 
> 
> i've been getting a lot of support on tumblr and aaah omg i appreciate it all so much. i also appreciate the long paragraphs people leave in the comments on this platform... if i don't respond don't be upset! i totally read it and saw it and probably cried about it. 
> 
> please let me know your thoughts on this au, if i should fix anything etc... etc... feel free to message me on tumblr (@oveath-shouyyou) i'm very awkward though, so be warned! 
> 
> the next two chapters is literally just a continuation of this chapter, i decided to break it up so it wasn't too long. i'll post it whenever i get to a draft i like agskahs
> 
> -killie.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [lipstick](https://youtu.be/jVmAnGtg1RQ)

By the time Ren was finished setting up it was already time to open the café. Ren seemed nervous as he quietly strummed his guitar; Yuuichirou had given him an extra stool from the backroom.

When the first customer walked in Takaya saw Ren go rigid, his strumming falling still and the café falling into its normal silence. Takaya decided not to pay attention to the boy in the corner and instead turned his attention towards the customer.

“May I help you?” Takaya forced his lines through a tight-lipped smile, it didn’t matter how long he’d been working there, how many times he repeated those lines…his smile was still too fake. The customer didn’t seem to care, she looked as dead as Takaya felt, large bags under her eyes and hair covered by her hood.

“Just a small hot coffee with almond milk.” The woman turned to give Ren a questionable look, “To go, please.”

Takaya gave up on smiling, it wasn’t like anyone cared anyway; unless they were older, then they did care. He nodded, taking the cash from the woman, the cashier opened with a ding and when he turned around to grab a paper cup Ren had started playing again. This time the guitar was accompanied by some other instrumental piece, something that must have been playing from the speaker. Takaya had to admit, it didn’t sound bad, but he hadn’t even started singing.

Yuuichirou was adoringly leaning against the front counter, elbow digging into the top. If Takaya didn’t know him, he would have thought he had a crush on Ren. But he knew Yuuichirou, and he knew Yuuichirou had it bad for a certain bald male. Even though no words had been spoken, no conversation that ended with _“Yeah, I like Azusa.”_ Takaya still knew, and he was pretty sure Yuuichirou knew he knew.

“You’re not even on shift, move it.” Takaya hissed, pushing the shorter male to the side so he could fill the paper cup with coffee.

_“Your lipstick stains all on my neck,”_

Takaya’s movement stuttered, the coffee pot in his hand heavier than normal. Ren’s voice was quiet, it was warm and comforting and his foot was softly tapping the top of the stage. The only customer in the room also seemed surprised, Yuuichirou’s smile only seemed to grow larger.

_“Last night we were stuck in bed,”_

Takaya swallowed loudly; Ren was better than he expected. Though his stage presence was non-existent it didn’t really matter when it came to his voice. His head was bobbing up and down to the beat, guitar balanced on his still leg as he picked at the strings, strummed the strings. Takaya didn’t know what the boy was doing, but he knew it sounded good, maybe even more than good.

It was just that type of music that made you feel something. The type of music that made you feel good.

“H-here,” Takaya handed the woman her cup of coffee with a shaky hand. When she walked away Takaya leaned over to elbow Yuuichirou in the ribs, “Isn’t he a bit…distracting?"

"Huh?” Yuuichirou was loud, but Ren’s voice never stuttered, “Why would he be distracting?”

_"The taste on my tongue won’t be gone for a while,”_

“You know…I—never mind,” Takaya held in a groan, Yuuichirou was as dense as always, and that was probably why they had never spoken about his obvious crush on Azusa. Takaya took a sip from his already cold cup of coffee the bitter taste doing nothing to keep his mind off the boy in the corner.

_“Your lipstick stains all on my neck,”_

Takaya greeted the next customer with a smile, it was an elderly couple…the older lady returned the smile. “That boy over there has a nice voice,” The lady pointed a shaky finger towards Ren,

“Oh, yes, he’s really talented,” Takaya’s cheeks were starting to hurt as he nodded along to himself, “What can I get for you today?”

_“Baby, take it from me, when I say,”_

The old couple took a couple seconds, both chattering quietly to each other and Takaya patiently waited his smile drooping just a bit. He let himself look over at Ren, the boy had his eyes clenched shut, fingers picking at the strings.

_“That you got it boy, you got it boy,”_

“One hot green tea, and a hot coffee,” The old lady looked over at her husband, “No cream or sugar.”

“Oh, um, r-right,” Takaya widened his smile again, taking the cash from the lady before turning to grab two cups from the shelf.

Yuuichirou was still casually leaning across the counter watching Ren and when Takaya leaned over to grab the coffee pot the male sent him one of his shit eating grins, “Did you just stutter? So that’s what you meant when you said he was distracting,” He laughed, loud and obnoxious, “Wait till Azusa hears this!”

_"These days I find myself holding my breath,"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this update took so long, i'm sure a bunch of people thought i dropped this au... but i didn't! 
> 
> alec dropped a new and it's just the best thing ever, it's called summer is over and i'm obviously going to use it in this fic. 
> 
> thank you so much for the support on the last two chapters!! i really appreciate it, this series means a lot to me, like all my series, but soulmate au's just hit different. 
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr (@oveath-shouyyou) we can cry about oofuri and abemiha together!! 
> 
> -killie


	4. Chapter 4

By the time Takaya’s shift was ending, Azusa had just come in from the back entrance. His face said it all as he came around the corner to meet Takaya cleaning up from his shift.

“Who is he?”

“The new performer.”

Azusa took a couple mugs from Takaya’s hand, following him back into the hallway to drop them off at the sink. Takaya pulled the strings of his apron loose, before picking his bag up off the floor.

“Is he?”

“Yeah he goes to our school, I forgot what major he was.” Takaya draped his apron over a chair at the table, before slipping his bag over his shoulder.

“Wait so he’s not part of the music department?”

Takaya shook his head, and Azusa did a double take peeking out of the backroom to catch the rest of Ren’s song. The sound of his guitar filled the café, but his voice just barely reached them.

“No, I think he’s on the baseball team though?” Takaya pulled his phone out and after checking the time he decided he had enough time to stay and chat.

“Part of the baseball team? I’ve never seen him before.” Azusa pulled the string of his apron tighter around his waist.

“Me neither, but he’s wearing the jacket, so maybe’s he’s just not part of the starting lineup?”

“But I feel like we’d still seem him at practice, right? I mean it’s hard to miss that?” Azusa made it sound more like a question, but Takaya understood.

It would be hard to miss Ren. He was almost as small as Yuuichirou, and their college baseball team was full of big tall muscly guys and maybe a couple smaller guys. Ren was in between, or at least what Takaya had been able to collect during his shift. But Azusa was right, it’d be hard to miss him and his bright hair and petite figure.

“I don’t know, man. Ask Yuu, they seem pretty close.”

“Pretty close? You mean—”

Takaya rolled his eyes, holding back a scoff that threatened to slip out. They were both hopeless.

“I mean like friends, Azusa. They’re friends.”

“Oh, why can’t you ask—” Azusa looked out back towards the dimmed hallway, Takaya saw the moment where he saw Yuuichirou rush up to Ren.

“Dude, how long have you known, Yuu? Just ask him, he’d be more than happy to tell you.” Takaya straightened his posture, moving closer to Azusa who stayed in the doorway.

Azusa didn’t seem like he believed Takaya, but he nodded anyway sighing, “But you kn— I think he’s just gonna be scared I’m gonna yell at him.”

Takaya scoffed, pushing Azusa forward into the hallway, “That’s my job, don’t get us mixed up.”

This time Azusa laughed, shaking his head, “Yeah, I guess it is. Did you yell at him this morning?”

“No?”

Azusa laughed again, “The fact you don’t even know.”

Takaya only shook his head following Azusa out into the main area of the café. Ren looked away from his and Yuuichirou’s conversation when they entered, his eyes dancing from Takaya to Azusa and then back to Yuuichirou.

Yuuichirou looked away too, eyes growing in size when he spotted Azusa before squinting into a suspicious glare when he looked at Takaya. Takaya shrugged.

“Yuu, you’re on shift what are you doing?”

Takaya elbowed Azusa in the side, “That’s why he doesn’t like you.”

Yuuichirou gave Takaya a suspicious look, when he rushed away from the stage and behind the counter, Takaya smiled back at him. Azusa on the other hand seemed frozen, eyes wide as he stared ahead of him, Takaya felt bad for him, but he had to admit it was funny.

“I’m kidding, dude.”

Azusa didn’t seem to believe him, but he regained consciousness enough to turn on his heels and go help Yuuichirou set up for his shift. Takaya shook his head, he had stayed after long enough and after checking his phone he decided if he didn’t leave now he’d end up walking into the lecture late and he’d rather not have over a hundred young adults turning around to stare at him. He wasn’t very good at making entrances.

But when he passed Ren he stopped, he could hear something clicking inside his head, he could feel something falling into place and without thinking he opened his mouth, “You—you have a nice voice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i let my love for tajihana take over this fic, yes, yes i did. but don't you worry this is an abemiha fic i swear!! but if you don't ship tajihana you should, like my tajihana au flopping like excuse me, ship them. 
> 
> anyway the lack of slowburn, cafe au and soulmate au's for abemiha makes me rage. so even though i'm like the worst writer gakaha this is my attempt at a slowburn abemiha au. 
> 
> the next chapter will be in ren's pov, i think? i have look at my outline again. but anyway come talk to me on tumblr (@oveath-shouyyou)!! 
> 
> -killie.


	5. Chapter 5

Ren watched him leave, the door falling shut behind him. He hadn’t had a chance to respond, well it was more like he couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth and say, ‘thank you’. It was an easy thing, most people could do it, but he couldn’t. The strings of his guitar dug into his fingers and he was reminded of the task at hand, he brought his attention away from the ball of color that had been him and back to the small café.

It was cozy and Ren was enjoying the uncrowded atmosphere. He enjoyed the hum of the air conditioner, how it kept in time with each strum. He enjoyed the smell of coffee and how the bells above the door barely rang—he liked how he could escape into his own little world. Nobody was watching, but at the same time somebody was listening. Somebody could hear him, and that’s all Ren wanted. He just wanted somebody to hear him and music was the only way.

“His name’s Takaya.”

Ren looked up at the sound of Yuuichirou’s voice. He was settled behind the cash register, now with a white and red apron.

“But he’s a grump, so don’t expect him to be nice.” Yuuichirou was smiling, “I have a bet with Azusa that he was a bully when he was a kid.”

His name was Takaya. Ren turned back towards the door, but of course he was already gone—not even a dot of color. He hadn’t seemed like a bully, but Ren didn’t have the confidence to say that. Yuuichirou knew him better than him, just because he had complimented him didn’t mean he wasn’t mean. Mean people were capable of being nice, Ren should know that.

He reprimanded himself, picking at the strings of his guitar nervously. He had to pull himself out of thought before he fell too far. Yuuichirou didn’t pay any attention to the new tune, instead he sneakily bent down to pull a cookie (two) from the small refrigerator under the counter.

“Ren,” Yuuichirou waved him over, holding up a chocolate chip cookie. Ren unable to say no to any type of sweet hurried over, his guitar bouncing against his thighs with every step. He took the cookie from Yuuichirou carefully, resting against the counter.

“Taka seemed to really like your music,” Yuuichirou spoke with his mouthful, “He even called you distracting.”

He liked his music? Maybe Ren should tell Yuuichirou he had complimented him on his way out?

“H-he…he did say he-he liked m…my voice.” Ren ended his sentence by stuffing the rest of the cookie in his mouth, puffing his cheeks out in embarrassment. Yuuichirou looked surprised. 

“No way,” Yuuichirou turned to yell into the hallway, “Azusa come here you have to hear this!”

Ren nervously chewed the food that was in his mouth, not yet prepared to have to speak to someone other than his best friend. Azusa appeared a couple seconds late, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Did something happen? What’s going on?” He joined Yuuichirou behind the counter, scanning the supplies to make sure nothing was broken.

“Taka complimented Ren.”

Azusa looked just as surprised as Yuuichirou, Ren watched them exchange looks

“Takaya doesn’t compliment anyone. Even when they’re doing a good job.”

Azusa looked at Ren like he had done something wrong, scanning him.

“Right.” Yuuichirou gave Azusa’s shoulder an awkward punch. “This is Ren by the way. I’m sure Taka said who he was.”

“Yeah, he just said he was our new performer.” Azusa turned to glare at Yuuichirou, “And I know I said you could find someone, but at least let me know beforehand. I have to set aside pay.” 

“Y-you. I d-don’t… no money.” Ren’s voice was nothing, but a squeak and he was holding onto his guitar like it was the only thing he had.

Azusa looked taken aback, “Are you sure? I don’t—”

Yuuichirou elbowed him in the side, “He already told me he doesn’t need pay. He’s just doing this to get out of his house.

“I still feel bad not giving him anything, he’s technically working here now.”

Ren felt out of place watching his best friend and Azusa fight. Maybe he shouldn’t have accepted Yuuichirou’s offer. He’d been wanting to perform his music, but not at the cost of burdening someone.

“I-i-it’s ok—” Ren tried to cut in, but Azusa was already speaking over him.

“Here’s what I’ll do. You can have as much free coffee as you want, or tea? Well any of our drinks, just ask who’s ever on shift to make you something.”

Yuuichirou smiled widely, “I can make you all of my special drinks.”

“You don’t want to try his, trust me.” Azusa laughed and Ren didn’t miss the look of affection.

He felt somehow envious, and a bit bad. Wouldn't getting free drinks take away profit? They’d be losing money, right? They already didn’t seem that busy.

“I-I j-just…it’s-it’s just. I do this…for-for fun.” 

Azusa watched him jitter away, “I’d feel bad not giving you anything, and if you don’t want pay the least, I can do is give you free drinks.”

“Take the offer dude, it’s worth it.” Yuuichirou nudged his shoulder a little, sending him one of his familiar smiles,

Ren worried his bottom lip, wrapping his fingers tighter around the base of the guitar. He nodded and Azusa automatically brightened up.

“Great, well we’re happy to have someone to use that stage. It gets pretty sad here.” Azusa looked towards the small raised stage in the corner of the café. “If you have any questions let me…or Yuu know.”

Ren nodded, forcing himself to say a word of thanks. “T-t-than..ks”

Azusa nodded, turning to whisper something into Yuuichirou’s ears, Ren didn’t hear it but Yuuichirou frowned, his eyebrows furrowing.

Ren felt a little bad, maybe he had gotten him in trouble. But at the same time he couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. This was a good place to help him escape everything that was going wrong and Ren made sure he would fully escape here, completely let himself get absorbed in his song. He’d make himself invisible.

It was the only way to escape the torture that was his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's just pretend i didn't disappear for like two months. 
> 
> i swear i didn't forget about this au, i literally think about it everytime i listen to alec (or any guitar music) because it reminds me of ren singing WHICH BTW I FOUND A VIDEO OF HIS VOICE ACTOR SINGING THE OPENING it's the first track in [this](https://sp.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm575201) video (this also includes other oofuri characters singing, BUT REN SINGING IS JUST MWAHHHHHHHHHHHHH) 
> 
> anyway the next chapter is gonna be some tajihana fan service because i can never focus on just one ship without implying other ones.


End file.
